150 Bagel Jokes & Puns: You’ll Lox These!

Bagels are more than just a breakfast staple; they’re a source of endless puns and laughter! Whether you love them plain, toasted, or covered in cream cheese, these bagel jokes will have you rolling with laughter. So grab your favorite bagel, spread some humor, and enjoy these 150 bagel-tastic jokes.

🥯 Bagel Jokes to Start Your Morning with a Smile

Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many inner dough-mons.
What did the bagel say to the toaster? You make me feel all warm inside!
Why did the bagel bring a ladder? It wanted to reach new heights of deliciousness.
What do bagels and comedians have in common? They both deliver the best rolls!
Why did the bagel blush? It saw the cream cheese spreading rumors about it.
What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? Dough-ga (yoga with dough!).
Why did the bagel join the dating app? It was looking for a lox-ing relationship.
What do you call a bagel that can play the piano? A roll-ing musician!
Why don’t bagels ever get lost? They always stay in the loop.
How does a bagel apologize? It says, “I’m sorry if I was a little crusty!”

🧀 Cream Cheese & Bagel Jokes That’ll Spread Laughter

Why do bagels and cream cheese make the best team? Because they always stick together!
What did the bagel say to the cream cheese? You complete me!
Why don’t bagels ever argue? They know how to spread love!
What’s a bagel’s worst nightmare? Running out of cream cheese.
What’s a bagel’s favorite compliment? “You’re the cream of the crop!”
How did the bagel propose? With a diamond-studded schmear!
Why do bagels love compliments? Because they knead the praise!
What’s a bagel’s least favorite thing to hear? “You’re getting a little stale.”
Why did the bagel take the cream cheese to the dance? It was whipped!
What do bagels say when they feel confident? “I’m on a roll!”

🦄 Unique & Quirky Bagel Jokes You Haven’t Heard Before

Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little buttered up!
What’s a bagel’s favorite type of weather? Toasty with a chance of schmear!
Why did everything bagel feel special? Because it had it all!
What do you call a fancy bagel? A glamour-roll!
Why did the bagel break up with the croissant? It needed someone less flakey.
What’s a bagel’s favorite type of TV show? A dough-documentary!
Why don’t bagels trust muffins? They always seem a little crumby.
What’s a bagel’s favorite superhero? Captain Crust!
What did the bagel say to the butter? “Spread love, not drama.”
Why don’t bagels get lonely? They always have good company with coffee.

🏒 Lox & Bagel Jokes That Are Reel-y Funny

Why do bagels love lox? Because they reel-y belong together!
What do you call a bagel that loves fishing? A lox-lover!
Why did the lox and bagel break up? The bagel felt too smothered!
What did the lox say to the bagel? “You’re the best catch of my life!”
How do bagels like their lox? Hooked and delicious!
Why do lox and bagels never argue? Because they go with the flow.
What’s a bagel’s favorite hobby? Swimming upstream for lox!
Why did the bagel open a seafood restaurant? To keep things fresh!
What’s a bagel’s favorite song? “You Lox Me Up”
Why did the lox refuse to fight? Because it wasn’t up for a salty situation!

😂 Extra Cheesy Bagel Jokes to Keep the Laughs Rolling

Why did the bagel go to the party? It was ready to roll!
What’s a bagel’s favorite dance move? The twist!
Why did the bagel start a band? Because it had great rolls!
What do bagels say to encourage each other? “You can do it! Just keep rolling!”
Why did the bagel start meditating? To become one with the dough.
What’s a bagel’s favorite holiday? National Carb Day!
Why did the bagel apply for a job? It wanted to earn some dough.
What do you call a bagel that tells great jokes? A pun-ster!
Why do bagels make great friends? They always stick together!
What’s a bagel’s favorite compliment? “You’re a whole lot of fun!”

🍩 Freshly Baked Bagel Jokes for Your Daily Laugh

Why don’t bagels ever get tired? They always stay well-rounded.
What’s a bagel’s favorite type of math? Pi!
Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the butter side.
What do bagels say when they’re excited? “Holy schmear!”
Why was the bagel so confident? It had layers of self-esteem.
What do you call a bagel with attitude? Sassy dough!
Why did the bagel take a vacation? It needed a break from the daily grind.
What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? Rolling in the Dough!
Why do bagels make great detectives? They always get to the core of things.
What did the bagel say when it was complimented? “Aww, you butter stop!”

🧈 Butter & Bagel Jokes That Will Spread Smiles

Why did the butter refuse to talk to the bagel? It didn’t want to spread itself too thin.
What’s a bagel’s favorite romance movie? You Schmear Me Right!
Why do bagels and butter get along so well? Because they’re made for each other.
What did the bagel say to the butter at breakfast? “You melt my heart!”
Why don’t bagels like drama? They prefer things to be smooth and buttery.
What do you call a bagel with a butter obsession? A toast enthusiast!
Why did the bagel break up with butter? It needed some space to breathe.
What’s a bagel’s favorite magic trick? The disappearing butter act!
What happened when the butter tried to run away? It got stuck in a sticky situation!
How do bagels express gratitude? They say “Thanks a schmear!”

🎭 Silly & Unexpected Bagel Jokes That’ll Make You Giggle

Why did the bagel get a job? I wanted to make some dough!
What’s a bagel’s favorite kind of music? Soft rock and roll!
Why did the bagel start a podcast? To keep people listening on the go.
What did the bagel say to its reflection? “Looking sharp, crusty!”
Why did the bagel apply for a credit card? It wanted some extra dough.
What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Dough-minoes!
Why do bagels make great friends? They always come through in a crunch.
What did the shy bagel say on its first date? “I’m feeling a little toasted.”
What do bagels say when they don’t understand something? “That’s a bit hard to chew on.”
Why did the bagel join the gym? To work on its core!

🐟 Lox & Bagel Jokes That Are a Reel Catch

What do bagels and fishermen have in common? They both love a good lox!
Why did the lox refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get salty!
What’s a bagel’s favorite kind of fish? One that’s well-preserved!
Why did the lox and bagel have a great relationship? They were totally in sync!
What do you call a musical bagel? Rock and lox!
Why did the bagel refuse to go skydiving? It didn’t want to fall into a lox!
What’s a bagel’s favorite party trick? Pulling a lox out of thin air!
Why did the lox get invited to every bagel party? It was always the highlight!
How did the bagel react when it ran out of lox? “This is a reel disaster!”
What do you call a nervous bagel? A little loxed up!

🎉 Extra Dough-licious Bagel Jokes to Keep the Laughs Rolling

Why did the bagel blush at breakfast? It was buttered up with compliments!
What’s a bagel’s least favorite thing to hear? “You’re a little stale.”
Why do bagels make great motivational speakers? They always lift people up!
What’s a bagel’s favorite workout? Rolling lunges!
Why don’t bagels ever lie? They always keep it dough-real!
What’s a bagel’s favorite childhood game? Rolling pin tag!
Why was the bagel jealous of the donut? It had a sweeter reputation!
What do you call a bagel that’s afraid of change? A dough-nial case!
Why do bagels love the bakery? It’s where they feel the most kneaded!

🍞 Bagel Jokes That Are a Whole Lot of Fun

Why did the bagel apply for a modeling job? It knew it had the perfect shape.
What’s a bagel’s favorite party theme? Dough and behold!
Why did the bagel bakery open a bakery? It wanted to turn its passion into dough.
How do bagels end a fight? They just let it roll off their crust.
What’s a bagel’s favorite superhero? The Bread Knight!
Why did the bagel call in sick? It was feeling a little crusty.
What do bagels say at a wedding? “I do-not believe this is happening!”
Why did the bagel bring a map? It didn’t want to get lost in the toaster.
What did the bagel say after a long workout? “I’m feeling pretty baked!”
Why did the bagel break up with the donut? It wanted something more wholesome.

🧀 Cheesy Bagel Jokes to Keep You Smiling

What do you call a bagel that tells cheesy jokes? A pun-dough-ster!
Why did the bagel blush at the bakery? It overheard someone buttering it up.
What did the bagel say to the cheese? “You make me melt!”
Why did the bagel feel so confident? It had a strong core of self-belief.
What’s a bagel’s favorite fairy tale? Goldilocks and the Three Schmears!
Why do bagels make great secret agents? They always blend into the spread.
What’s a bagel’s favorite part of the newspaper? The crossword puzzle!
Why don’t bagels gossip? They prefer to keep things toasty and positive.
What did the cheese say to the bagel? “You make everything butter!”
Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had a lot of inner dough-mons to face.

🎭 Witty & Unexpected Bagel Jokes to Keep You Rolling

Why did the bagel start a YouTube channel? It wanted to go viral and rise to fame.
What’s a bagel’s favorite TV show? Rolling with the Stars!
Why did the bagel open a coffee shop? It knew it would be the perfect blend.
What did the bagel say to the sandwich? “You can’t handle my level of carbs!”
Why do bagels always know what’s trending? They stay in the loop.
What’s a bagel’s favorite board game? Rolling-opoly!
Why did the bagel make a great poet? It always had deep layers of meaning.
What do you call a group of musical bagels? A roll-ing band!
Why did the bagel run for office? It promised to keep things fresh and wholesome.
What’s a bagel’s favorite way to relax? Getting a warm schmear massage!

🐟 Lox & Bagel Jokes That Are a Reel Catch

Why don’t lox and bagels ever fight? They know how to keep things smooth.
What’s a bagel’s least favorite kind of fish? One that’s too salty for its taste!
Why did the lox break up with the bagel? It felt too spread out in the relationship.
How do bagels and lox celebrate anniversaries? With toasts and good vibes.
What’s a bagel’s favorite fishing technique? Hook, schmear, and sinker!
Why did the bagel invite lox to the party? It knew things would get reel fun.
Why did the lox compliment the bagel? It wanted to butter it up before brunch.
What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? The Lox-inator!
Why don’t bagels make good fishermen? They always get caught up in the net.
What did the lox say to the cream cheese? “Let’s stick together like bagels do!”

🌍 Global Bagel Jokes That Take Things International

Why do bagels love to travel? They enjoy rolling through new places.
What’s a bagel’s favorite European city? Toasterdam!
Why did the French bagel get so much attention? It had je ne sais crust!
What’s a bagel’s favorite Italian dish? Carbo-nara, of course!
Why do bagels love international buffets? They get to try all the spreads.
What did the New York bagel say to the tourist? “Welcome to the best roll in town!”
Why do bagels love Paris? They enjoy baguette-ing lost in the streets.
What’s a bagel’s favorite Spanish dance? The flam-roll-co!
Why did the bagel get a passport? It was ready to explore a whole world of flavors.
What do you call a bagel in outer space? A universal delight!
What did the bagel say when it won the lottery? “This is un-bread-lievable!”

🥯 Final Bite of Bagel Jokes

That’s a wrap or should I say a roll? These bagel jokes and puns are perfect for sharing with friends over breakfast or whenever you knead a good laugh. So, don’t keep them to yourself spread the humor and make someone’s day a little more toasty!